Blog Archives - Forever Enduring Cycles

Forever Enduring Cycles

Places, I have lived!

5/12/2015

Still sorting out Gay Capri and I've come across old photographs. This group shows where myself and Jason have lived, me since 1992 and Jason since 1995! I actually can't believe how many places I have lived in. From bedsits in Shirley, to the Australian dream, lived in them all! A Bipolarcoaster ride of moving and settling!

Atherley Road 1992
Southampton

Clovelly Road 1993
Southampton

Northbrook Road 1994
Southampton

The Mansion 1994-95
Southampton

Oaktree Road 1995
Southampton

Pinkies PH 1995
Southampton

Perth, Australia 1995

Osborne Cort 1995-97
Southampton

Basset Green 1997
Southampton

Perth, Australia 1997

St Mary's Road 1997
Southampton

Radcliff Road 1997-98
Southampton

Beatty Cort 1998-99
Southampton

Edelvale Road 1999
Southampton

Wyndham Cort 1999-2000
Southampton

Brickworth 2000-2004
Salisbury

Lancashire 2001

Lancashire 2002-2006

France 2005-2008

Alfred St 2004-05
Southampton

Lancashire 2005-06

Rockstone Lane 2006-07
Southampton

Amgist 2007

Steuart Rd 2007-2012
Southampton

Capri 2012-
Southampton

Packing up the 1970s

5/12/2015

Born 1971

I have collected a lot of items from the 1970s. Much of which, leaves me with fond memories from childhood. It was an altogether more cheerful time for me, no expectations or major complications!

Dust Collectors

So today I am packing up the 1970s, forever! It is time to move on!

For me, memories are the reason. Anything that triggers an event, is important. The 1970s were the only decade of innocence for me, the last time, I truly never worried. Everyone was relatively poor, we had no expectations, but were just happy to be happy!

Still continuing the process of packing items for sale, here at Gay Capri. At the moment, the process seems never ending. The more stuff I pack for auction, the more stuff I find.

I was born on 9 May 1971, a product of the seventies, and although I don't remember an awful lot about the period, I have a fondness for all things 70s, I always have.

From what I remember of the time, it was a lot more relaxed. I remember a lot of colour, everywhere. Difficult to describe, but the colours, patterns and designs of the time were fantastic!

If you know me at all, you know I love to collect. I have a lot of Hornsea pottery, popular when I was a kid. My family had a lot of it, or at least similar style china, so I have spent a long time collecting items, that I have enjoyed owning. To be honest I have never used any of it. Everything has just sat in cupboards, so why not pass it on to others, who will enjoy it!

...It's time!

The psyche, behind collecting is fascinating, and different for each person who collects!

So it's time to get packing, and finish auctioning a life time of collecting. This is the first time in my life, I am happy to do it. Testing times and all that!

Peace and love always!

Bye bye books!

4/12/2015

Every single book is being sold this weekend, and I mean every one. As I have said before, life changing circumstances, make for life changing decisions!

Just finished sorting out my book collection. There is a life time of dedication there! However it is also time for them all to go, as much as it pains me to do so! To be honest, I have lost any emotional attachment, I have towards any object I own, even books!

Everything we have been doing and continue to do, to lighten the load we live with, is paying dividends. We are being left with a more manageable life, but still have a long way to go, before everything is gone.

Remember, we have plenty of stuff to sell, so if you need anything just let us know!

Memories!

4/12/2015

Clearing out paperwork from the past, brings a life time of memories to life, once again. My mind is no longer clouded, each memory erased, as each piece of paper burns!

D Vranjes 4 December 2015

French House!

4/12/2015

Le Croix, was situated in Swiss Normandy, near fleurs, in a tiny village called Le Lande Saint Simeon, not far from Orne!

In 2005, way before I was diagnosed with Bipolar, I was at the end of a manic cycle, that had lasted quite a while!

Le Croix

Le Croix was a small cottage, with about half an acre of land, grassed, with fruit trees. As I am sure you can imagine, it was in a state of complete disrepair.

Essentially, it consisted of two rooms, one side for human habitation and the other, used to be used by livestock!

I have a very strange way, in which I base my decision making. As I am sure you can guess, it is based on security and happiness. Whatever felt right, I would do. I suppose, my heart won over my head every single time!

Both Jason and I have always been dreamers really. Totally typical of Sagittarius Jason, but totally at odds with a Taurean like me. Having said that, buying things was my way of getting the security I craved. As I know now, that was false hope!

Wonderful Experiences

Jason and I have traveled extensively, all over the world. We have seen countries many people have never seen, met some truly wonderful people and experienced some amazingly memorable times. Neither of us would change that for the world

Here it is, early evening on the 4 December 2015 and we are still going through paperwork. I've just come across the French house file.

I have written about the house in France before, but I thought I would do it again a a little more detail.

On the 21 November 2005, myself and Jason finally signed the paperwork for a house in France. it was called Le Croix!

Bipolar purchases

I had bought a number of properties, over the few years before 2005 and buying the French house was the final buy before my then current cycle changed.

We bought the house, unseen, after I had read about the French property market and the bargains to be had. In fact, during the time we owned the house, we only ever saw it once. A lot of the time, I forgot I had even bought it!

I have no idea, why I do the things I do, buy the things I buy and when I look back to different periods in my life, I am literally horrified, by the stupidity that used to surround my decision making. However they are a part of mine and Jason's history together, and it is something that needs to be written about!

Heart over head!

We were living in the country at the time, near Salisbury in Wiltshire. I had really fallen in love with the country life and after the mistakes of the past, was finally feeling happy. I had already bought a holiday home in Lancashire, so a place in France, seamed natural for me, although totally illogical in reality!

Anyway, by buying Le croix, I had just put another nail in our future coffin. To be honest when I look back, I don't regret a thing. I mean how many people can say they have done the things we have!

Lesson learned!

buying the house in France, was my way of trying to conform to what others believed to be a normal progression in life. We were both trying to live a life, that wasn't really ours to live. We were still relatively young, and were both tying ourselves down for no real reasons. We had no family or children, so what was the point of doing it. Well we were just trying to be like everyone else.

We both came from a generation, where being accepted is important and that is what we both craved. It didn't work and we are where we are today....Lesson learned!

Burning Ones Bridges!

4/12/2015

Back to work

I'm going back to work on Monday, finally fighting fit, after the long road to recovery ended. It has been a long time since I have been in a working environment, but after speaking to the current Manager, I feel sure, everything will run smoothly. They are a great bunch, at London Road. I have tonnes of respect for all of them and they have been nothing but supportive, so I will be happy to see all everyone, as soon as I get back.

Jason has been terribly ill this week, so a colleague invited us round for a meal, just to take the pressure off and allow Jason to relax for a bit, last night!

Jason has just mentioned the Lady we had dinner with, and called her wholesome. I had to think for a bit, what he meant by wholesome, but understand what he is getting at. Good, honest, true. Three words to describe her. Three words we should all aspire too!

She cooked Italian and we spent a good five hours chatting about everything. It really isn't until you sit down with someone, that you really discover the real truth, the real person and their real purpose. In all honesty, so many people have said their bit and had their say, that sometimes, the facts get skewed and that has been a major problem all along the line.

It was a wonderful, relaxing and enjoyable evening, spent with someone who has a heart of gold and truly made us feel welcome, as ever. When you go into someones house, there are occasions when you feel uncomfortable, this was nothing but. We had a lovely time and will reciprocate as soon as we are able!

Monday

So back to work it is on Monday. Looking forward to it, Can't wait to get back into the swing of it and see all the old volunteers, as well as many new ones I am sure.

It's not until you have been truly ill, that you actually begin to realise, just what is important to you. Friends and the family I have left, as well as all those who have helped us through this difficult time.

I even don't care that my life changed for the worst, over the last eight months, because you know what I am still alive, that is all that matters!

4 December 2015

We are sat here now, going through stuff. It really amazes me, just how much our lives have changed over the years. I used to love dealing in shares and bought all of those, pictured on the right, over a short space of time, just before 9/11. Just my luck. Lost thousands of pounds in shares over night. At least I can laugh about it now!

Life for us, tends to change, on ten year cycles. I would not like to put that down to Bipolar, though I am sure it plays its part.

Burning ones Bridges!

We popped out this morning for a walk, as the weather was great and there is supposed to be a storm coming in later. Have loads to do this afternoon, sorting through twenty years worth of paperwork. Believe me, that is a lot of paperwork!

Paperwork

We literally have not been through paperwork for twenty years. Two filing cabinets, full to the brim with statements, letters and memories. Trimming down ones life, does not finish at the auction house, it should include every part of ones life, so that's what we are doing!

So this evening we are going to finish going through our filing cabinets and burn what ever we need too.

This process, debating what to keep, can be complicated. Due to the nature of our relationship, we have to keep mountains of paperwork, even now.

The end of another day. Burning memories from the last twenty years. Stuff I have been collecting in filing cabinets and draws for reasons, I can't explain. Once again. a weight lifted, as one watches, ones life burn!

Keep or Crap!

4/12/2015

I've promised myself, I would stay up until 2am, to finish what I am doing. Haven't got a lot of time left to get everything cleared out now, so every minute counts. Trying to decide what is worth keeping, is hard though, really hard, as everything, holds so many memories for us!

Trying to work out, what memory, is worth more than another memory is really quite hard, so I have decided, simply to base it on time. The older the item is, memory wise, the more likely I am going to keep it. It is working so far!

A lot of the bulk has already gone to the car boot sale. I used to have so many dust collectors, that I had no choice. Selling items for a pound each though, is hard, which is why Jay Greaves and Jason have carried out the task of selling. I would just have second thoughts, and bring everything home with me again. Really I would!

It is a lot easier, now we have found a good auction house. Believe me, they are hard to find, few and far between, but these seem OK, thus far. More boxing up of stuff tomorrow, although this time, the items I am going to keep, so a much happier task all round!

Peace and love always!

Dinner Date!

3/12/2015

A dinner date with a colleague this evening. Haven't seen her in a long while. We have a lot to talk about and not a lot of time to do it. An expensive bottle of Rioja or two, for a classy Lady, long overdue catch up and a bit of tea and sympathy!

D Vranjes 3 December 2015

Forever a part of you!

2/12/2015

It must be so wonderful to bring a new life into the World. I mean, no matter how unsuccessful we are in life, ultimately, the most rewarding endeavour, is bringing up a child, that will forever remain a part of you!

D Vranjes 2 Dec 15

Sam and Laura!

2/12/2015

I decided to treat Jason to lunch at The Old Farmhouse in Totton. I was a little surprised at the staff there to be honest. Most of them were over 60, and made our lunch perfect. The service was second to none. Older people really understand the meaning of customer service. We'll be back there next week for sure!

Now, everyone knows about me and my knowledge of babies, and the process involved with birth. As a gay man, the whole thing, though amazing, makes me shudder and I don't know how women, like Laura go through it. An inbuilt genetic ability, that just switches on, to turn young ladies into wonderful Mums I reckon.

Laura's water broke at home, which in reality is some way from The Princess Ann Hospital, so Sam did his best, driving a hundred miles an hour, to get them to the Maternity Ward.

Even at that speed, it wasn't fast enough and while on route, Laura delivered baby Arthur in the car, all the while Sam putting his foot down, to get them all safely to Hospital.

Baby Arthur is gorgeous. Even I had the courage to hold him, I have become a lot braver, after the birth of Kirsty's, Imogen, so thought I would overcome my fears of fragility and give him a cuddle.

Probably only the second baby, after Imogen, I have ever held in my life. Arthur is a feisty one as well, strong as an Ox and with as much hair as Sammy, when he was born!

So many congratulations to Sam and Laura on the birth of their first baby together. He is the cutest, most adorable baby, in the world, you must be so pleased.

All our love Darren and Jason x

Another day at the auctioneers again for us, even though Jason was feeling ill. He's been suffering quite a lot lately, but rather than staying in bed, it was time to drag him out again. We have a lot of stuff to shift, so once the momentum is there, just keep it going I say!

.....and now for the real reason we had gone out today. We had planned to see a couple of friends in Hythe, Sam and Laura.

They had just become the proud parents of Arthur Thomas, their first child together, who came into this world, under the strangest and most memorable of ways.

Now there is a birth certificate to have. I was astounded that it stated the place of birth, as Spicers Hill, Totton, on the way to Hospital, but, yes, that was where baby Arthur was born and thank god Laura did what she had too. I suppose when a babu wants to come, it wants to come. no matter what.

Peace and love always !

Author

As I finally recover from a Bipolar Relapse, life for me will change. Dealing with the after effects will take a life time. Forever Enduring Cycles will document recovery and a new chapter in my life.

Darren Vranjes
(Bare Naked Truth Blogger)

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