Most of us go through life, unaware of others pain, which is all too real. Ignoring the realities of life, because you don't want to deal with the harsh truth, is a cop out. I have always understood, just how bad life can get. After all, the reasons why I am where I am today, is because of the worst that life can throw your way. Not only has that made me even more aware, than I already am, but it has given me back some emotions, I thought I'd lost many years ago.
I am trying my hardest, to avoid people at the moment. I just want this all to be over and for us to no longer be here. This long goodbye to friends has been extremely painful. I am so full of emotion, all the time, and it does take its toll. I probably am in reality, an emotional wreck. People are doing their very best to make sure I am OK, but the demons I am fighting, are ones, only I can deal with. They are unique to me, terrifying at times and will probably never fully heal. This is my 'forever enduring cycle', that will always be with me, whatever bipolar cycle I am on at the time.
It was nice to talk to friends, who do understand me as a person and feel as disgusted by the way we have been treated, as much as us. Claire reads this blog all the time. Somethings can be too painful for her to read in their entirety, but then she feels what I do and has similar views on life, built on experience and circumstances.
I urge anyone, who makes judgements on others, to think before they actually speak. Everyone has a story to tell. Some of us have the worst stories of all within our hearts. These words remain inside our souls, until one day we can sit down, put pen to paper and bare to finally deal with the issues, that have made us the people we are. Often the pain of writing words, recalling dreadful times, can not be written fully and many of us, have unfinished books, our stories left untold. For these people similar words, written by similar people with similar experiences can be a life line and even help them to move forwards in life, even if the writer hasn't.
I hope one day Claire will publish the book inside. She has a story to tell, as we all do and as her words showed tonight, it would be a book that others could use to change their lives.
Thanks for the chat tonight, both of you. Luckily you caught me in a good state of mind. Pushing people away, especially now, is my thing, it's how I cope with my life as it is at the moment. I am glad I felt well enough to see two truly wonderful people!